“Go ahead caller…I’m listening.” It was the famous tagline fictional radio host Frasier Crane used to jump-start a conversation with his audience. In her book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg does something very similar by asking readers to “Lean In.”
As I read Sandberg’s book, something simple occurred to me: good listeners always lean in before they weigh in.
I also couldn’t help but wonder how Frasier would have reacted to Sandberg’s book. I think that Frasier, after a little intellectual sparring with his brother Niles, would have uncovered something unusual: the absence of men. Not from the book itself, but from the conversation surrounding it.
Sandberg’s book is, of course, written from the unique perspective of a woman: the challenges, the obstacles and the opportunities to succeed professionally and personally. That, however, doesn’t give men a free pass.
The book is really a call to action, for both women and men. John Chambers, Cisco CEO, did just that when he sent an email encouraging all Cisco employees to Lean In. Chambers hoped that reading the book would “open their eyes to bias and discrimination in the workplace in the same way it did for him.”
Why am I Leaning In? It’s simple. Many of the most important people in our lives are women: mothers, managers, co-workers, friends, partners, daughters (the list goes on…). It makes sense, then, that we should look inward to better understand how we perceive and interact with the women in our lives.
So, I’m asking men to Lean In and do three things:
- Watch, Listen and Learn: Gender bias and sexism – in all its forms – still exist everywhere we turn: the corporate office, politics, Hollywood, the manufacturing floor and yes, even at home. Sandberg, along with Adam Grant (author of Give and Take) illustrate just one aspect of gender bias in the workplace in their recent article Speaking While Female. “We see it happen again and again. When a woman speaks in a professional setting, she walks a tightrope. Either she’s barely heard or she’s judged as too aggressive. When a man says virtually the same thing, heads nod in appreciation for his fine idea. As a result, women often decide that saying less is more.” Becoming more attuned to how we interact with the women in our lives can help improve our relationships exponentially.
- Stand Up and Speak Out: Men not only have a responsibility to watch, listen and learn, but must also add their voice to conversations related to diversity in the workplace. Beyond gender, men need to take a more active role in discussing and promoting inclusion in all its forms including ethnicity, health and wellness, sexual orientation and age (among others).
- Continue the Conversation: Proactively Leaning In requires that we take accountability for how we think and act. It’s not a one-off event. It’s not just about reading the book. It’s about participating in and continuing the conversation. Not only in the workplace, but also at home and through social media communities like Lean In – Facebook and LeanIn.Org.
I’d like to think that Frasier Crane, after reading Sandberg’s book, would invite both men and women to join in the conversation by saying “Go ahead readers…I’m Leaning In and listening.” I know I am.
Until next time,
Connect, Collaborate and Create! ®